The Australian Dictionary of Invisible Culture for Teachers
do you mind if I…
phrase: someone says these words (see more)
It can be like this:
I want to do something
I think about it like this: If you don’t want this thing to happen, I can’t do it.
Because of this, I say 'I want to do something. I want you to say if I can do it.'
I think: If I say it like this, you will say I can do it.
Note
By using this phrase, the speaker indicates that they expect the request to be granted, and that asking in this way is out of respect for the other person's autonomy."Keegan is at Glenn's house. Keegan wants to use the bathroom. Keegan says: 'Do you mind if I use your bathroom?' Keegan thinks: 'Maybe this is not something good. Glenn can say if I can't do it. I want Glenn to say I can do it.' Glenn says: 'Of course, it's the third door on the right down the corridor.' OR Glenn says: 'Oh, sorry, the main bathroom is broken at the moment, you will have to use the ensuite in my room.'"
"Excuse me, do you mind if I borrow this chair?' 'No, not at all, go ahead."
"Staff: 'Hey boss, do you mind if I leave early today? I have two hours of flex time and I've finished everything already.' Boss: 'Yeah, no worries, I'll see you tomorrow.'"
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